MockTale

Articles, Stories and blogs talking about health and happiness

We always think our jobs make us who we are. But we have the ability to change what we do, so we can focus on what we love.

Our job makes us miserable or happy. It makes us stressed or excited. Its something to help just pay the bills, or we use it to showcase or drive and ambition. Our job introduces us to longtime friendships or lifetime enemies. It prevents us from growth or pushes us to strive for greatness.

All of these reasons and outcomes are decided by you. You are the only one who has the ability to change the things that need to be fixed and strive to work to live, not live to work.

For too long we work the same position, saying that it is only temporary. We continually blame the job and never make the change ourselves.

At least this was the case for me.

I worked in the restaurant industry for over 15 years, always knowing and thinking that it was just temporary job with good pay. But the only thing that held me back from really pushing myself to find that career and true happiness, was myself. I was scared about failure and being told I wasn’t good enough.

Every time I complained to my therapist about my life stresses and the surrounding things that were really bugging me, it all boiled down to my job. I was stressed about the toxicity of the environment, my bosses pushing me down not supporting me and pushing me up. The continual battle with coworkers and management, that all pushed me to my unhealthy life choices, which just cause a spiral effect of negativity, stress and emotional upset.

I know I’m not the only one who is guilty of this. The go to work, it pays the bills, come home and complain and stress about how much you dispise it, then go back and do it all again. Restaurant life is definitely a hard one to leave. You’d get those weeks of big spenders and crazy money, and magically your forgetting about the time your manager snapped on you for his fuck up, while he’s a bottle of wine deep.

Realizing it’s time for you to jump out of that unhealthy comfort zone, is the hardest part. But it’s the most crucial and the only way to your overall happiness.

When you’re truly happy at work, it’s amazingly easier to be happy at home.

Those days of upset, anger and stress disappear and you can start focusing on things that make you happy and really start defining your life with whom you are, not what you do.

With today’s technology and easy access to career portals, networking sites and easy self promotion. You have the ability to reach out to anyone you want and research any position you may strive for. Why not apply for that job in Europe, you now have the easy ability to reach to more companies and more opportunities, all over the world.

In today’s employment, the job titles are so easily adjusted and constructed and positions are always adapting and changing. Create a position you think your skills can be beneficial for and reach out to that dream company. You’d be amazed how much you can do, if you just send out a confident email explaining why they need you.

So stop stressing about your job and make the effort to make a change. Whether it be a new position within the same company or something completely different. Knuckle down and make yourself happy, you deserve to be happy.

I sit here in my partially empty living room, reflecting on the past year and a half and everything that has happened since I’ve lived in this apartment.

When I moved in, I moved in pretending to be happy, and pretending to be okay. This was my first apartment on my own in quite sometime and moving from my ex’s place, only made it harder.

My break up had me questioning everything I was doing, being and pretending to be. I attached myself to a couple casual relationships in hopes to stop me from thinking about him and what happened. I could not stop feeling guilty. Guilty of not being able to just be so selfless.

-Background story- My ex was diagnosed with Lyme Disease the week I moved in to live with him. My job at the time was serving at one of the nicest restaurants in Vancouver. I worked my ass off and gave my soul to that place. Once done work, I had to come home and clean and help be support for someone I loved. After so long, I began to crumble and turned into an empty blank walking body that was filled with so many mixed emotions I didn’t know how to act. When you give so much to people at work and then come home to do the same, its very hard on your emotions and mental health. Not being able to physically see when your partner is sick, is very difficult, especially when its so up and down. Eventually I started to begin to feel not myself and extremely anxious all the time. I would cry in the car to hide it from everyone. I became very angry with myself, I felt as though I was failing as a partner. I did feel like I failed. Why wasn’t I able to just help him and be more selfless? At that time I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression along with my PTSD from my past, but I couldn’t tell my boyfriend. He was already dealing with so much and even if I tried to, the conversation would lead to an argument how he needed to focus on getting better and I wasn’t helping. Try hearing that from someone you love. Basically he gave me confirmation that yes, I was failing. In the end, we broke up for that exact reason “You need to work on yourself”.

You can see how this caused a spiral of guilt, anger and upset.

Before I moved, I switched my job, because I knew it was the one toxic thing for me that I needed to change.(you can read my other articles to understand why) I started to work for a fishing lodge, at their head office in Vancouver. The hours were crazy, the money was horrible and my social life was gone. But it was experience on my resume and a way to make connections.

The season ended and the job I was supposed to transition to, never happened. I was lost for work and didn’t know what to do. So I went and did what I know I was good at, back to the restaurant industry I went.

From there, the high stressed job triggered the “work hard, play hard” lifestyle. Combined with my ongoing mental health issues, I focused on all the wrong things to get me back to myself again. Casual relationships, too much drinking, and lonely nights at home crying my eyes out.

And then someone mentioned Aprons for Gloves. I decided to sign up, ended up getting a fight and my focus started to shift to a healthier lifestyle. Surrounding myself with people who wanted to better themselves and others around them. I began to look at my life and what I was doing and realized that I got out of the restaurant industry previously because of the toxicity. I needed to do it for good.

My shift slowly developed, but I was still having those boozy nights after a very high stressful shift, only to wake up feeling guilty and upset with myself.

Then someone from an amazing company reached out to me on Linkedin and told me to apply for an opening in their company. I did and got the job! This is where I finally started to truely feel happy. Happy knowing that the only hurtful thing in my life was about to go away. Happy knowing that I’d be surrounded by people who are active, positive about their job and surrounded by people who want to push you to do better. People that don’t have to drink a mickey while they work, just to make it through their shift. People that don’t get jealous at my wins or call me out on my fails. People who don’t tell me “If you don’t like it, then go somewhere else”.

But then my balance got a little off.

After my fight and the new transition with the 9-5 job. I was striving for that social time after work but no one to enjoy it with, all my friends work restaurants and nights. Going from such a high social job and life, to being behind a computer all day and then straight home, your body goes through a bit of a shock. Then the times when I was able to actually meet up with friends I kept feeling like “I have to make the most of it!” So, even though I wasn’t going out much, when I did, I went too hard. I felt like I needed to take advantage of the night, cause they were so few.

Then Sept 17th hit, a couple days after another sad birthday alone. I decided I was going to stop drinking for a while. A while lead to a month, lead to anther month and then to another month, and now to today. I have had a few nights in between where I let myself have some drinks and let loose, and they were definitely fun, but man do I ever hate hangovers and headaches.

I look at myself tonight and look at myself the first night. I’m so proud of this girl today and everything she’s dealt with, learned and achieved. She’s grown so much in just a year and a half, and she deserves the world.

This apartment gave me comfort, was there through the most transitional time in my life, and also gave me hope. I loved this bright, big windowed apartment and am sad to leave. But with growth comes change and life adjustments.

Thank you Kits apartment, for being my rock to talk to, my safe space during difficult times, and for being a 3 story walk up that has kept my butt looking fabulous, Thank you!

If you know me or have read my previous articles, you’d know that I love to see Doctors and Therapists of all types; Massage, Osteopath, Physiotherapists, Chiropractors, Naturopaths, Physiologists, Counsellors and even a Meditation Therapists.

I believe we all deserve the right to learn as much knowledge as we can about ourselves, inside and out. If I’m physically in pain or mentally suffering, I want to speak to all views, all sides and all backgrounds. Fuck, even if I’m not having issues, why not check in to make sure everything is going good. Many of us are lucky to have the option to have extended health with our jobs, so why not use that money and learn about you.

Yes, sometimes I don’t agree, or I don’t feel a positive change. But I know that I have taken the time to listen to my body and seek how to help with the issue I am having or even just to learn about how individually I work.

You need to find someone you are comfortable with, opening up about your issues and someone that doesn’t just ask the direct one sided questions. Understand that your first session may not feel very educating or feel like you’ve done much, these things take time. But do believe in that special feel you have when you do find someone that actually is listening to you and honest about what they see and hear.

My favourite therapists have been the people who ask me, not just about my current state, but about my past, as well as look into all aspects of the situation. They need to be someone you can trust and not be scared to ask stupid questions with, which no question is stupid and someone that would rather know too much, than not enough.

You may not even have serious issues or demanding causes, but I always recommend going continually to help with seeing your triggers and even prevention. You go to the dentist for a check up, why not check on your mind or overall health with your naturopath?

For those of you with extended medical, think of the money you are throwing away month after month. With the cost of living, why not use that money towards bettering yourself. Take advantage of the amazing people around you that are here to listen and help you understand how your body works.

Below are some awesome places I recommend you check out in Vancouver!

Finlandia Health Centre – Supplements, compounding, Naturopaths, IV Therapy and more! One of my favourite places in Vancouver

QI Integrated Health – The one stop shop with everyone you need. From Pilates to Meditation to Osteopathy, this beautifully welcoming environment will leave you wanting to come back for more. Heaven is in Kitsilano

Sana Counselling – Great rates, extended hours and genuinely caring people. With two locations, you cant go wrong.

Alliance Wellness – Chiro, RMT, Physio and Counselling. Another great stop for everything you need to better you. They are busy for a reason, but have enough staff so you don’t have to plan too far ahead.

One of the biggest let downs online dating has shown me, is that everyone wants to feel “go with the flow” and no one likes to make a plan or ask for someone’s time anymore. Its very common for someone to message you at 9pm asking if you want to hang out. Stop answering, stop saying yes. Your time deserves to be planned for and you are worth more than that.

Does anyone know what they want anymore?

Seems like most people are overwhelmed with the amount of dating options online and that “could be better person” is just on the next swipe over. This ends up creating an unfortunate lack of drive to actually learn about the person you are talking to and put effort into seeing where it could go. If you are unsure what exactly you want, respect others and take some time and step back from dating. Lack of communicating how to you feel or what you want is only going to cause turmoil.

Sadly, many woman and even men will lie about what they are looking for, only to seek what they want and not take into consideration the other person feelings. Don’t lie to the other person and don’t lie to yourself. If you aren’t looking for a casual relationship, don’t say you are, in hopes to “change” their mind. This will only set up your expectations for failure and start whatever relationship it is that you have, off unbalanced.

Now moving on to our busy society. Yes we all seem to work more than we play and our hobbies take up a lot of our time, but we need to take a moment and respect those people who are willing to work to start relationships. The unfortunate new fad of “ghosting” has made many daters nervous to even start something and nervous to reach out to see what is going on.

Commitment is scary

With these flip flop feelings and lack of drive, its hard to find anyone who actually is striving for an adult meaningful relationship anymore. Society has now focused on building your career first and family second, so that grey area of where to shift is hard to find. As our careers are always changing and always growing, at what point do you decide to find someone to share those memories with.

Social media ruins it all

Superficial judgments is the key to ruining so many, what could have been, great relationships. We “internet creep or stalk” each other and come up with our own view of who that person is, without actually asking or learning their true stories.

I find this extremely frustrating, that this is a thing. If someone decides to post every day, or post once a month, it doesn’t change how good of a person they are or the outcome of how your relationship could be. So stop creeping someone’s page and using that as a deciding factor on how you view the person. If they decide they don’t want to post on their page, they aren’t always hiding something, so give them a break. Take the time and get to know them first yourself, before you come to any conclusions. When you become the online topic or your personal life is affected, then really this is the only time you have a say in what they can or cannot post.

Neflix and Chill

Since when is it okay to show up at a complete strangers house, all to wear comfie’s and watch a movie (and ya I know what else). This is not a date, this is what you do with someone you’re in a relationship with or someone you should be completely comfortable with. Starting a relationship off this way is only just going to kill the romance from the get go. The first few “hang outs” really set the standard on what your relationship is going to be, and if you want thoughtfulness and treasured memories, then this is not the route for you.

Time to respect each other

Its time that we speak out on what we expect and want out of our relationships from the beginning and stop half-assing and half committing to everything. If you are interested in someone show them respect and let them know. We need to communicate again and stop just assuming what the other person is thinking.

According to the Chinese Horoscope, year 2020 is the Year of the Metal Rat. The rat is the first sign of the twelve animal cycle of the Chinese Astrology. With this in consideration, the year is looked at to bring new beginnings, new opportunities and renewal.

As you take a moment to look back on 2019, first take a second and remember where you were, at this moment, last year. A day before the new year, anticipating what was to come, how you were going to conquer your challenges and what your goals were. Feel that drive for the new year, or those running shoes from the old one. Where you excited to continue strong, or were you excited to start a fresh new year, away from the previous one?

Now look at today, look at the day before next year. Are you wanting to wipe away 2019, start a new slate and make all new goals. Or are you going to look back at the year, what happened that caused you stress, upset or anger, and what you could have done differently to be in a different position that you are right now. Are your feelings different than last year? Are they better or are they worse?

If you need a good motivational video, I HIGHLY recommend this one

Take ownership!

Take a moment to understand, you may not have completed everything you had set out to do, and see why that may have happened. Sometimes our goals just shift a little and our interests change. Do you think it was for better, or do you think you took the easy way and backed out?

Once you have accepted 2019 for all the good, bad and miserable, then you can transition to move into 2020.

We all are too familiar with those end of the year posts saying “is 2019 over yet?” or “That was a tough one”. And yes you may have had unexpected loses or things out of your ability happen, and I am truly sorry for those. But you need to dive deep down and look at how you feel, inside and out. Are you happy? Are you feeling like your life is going up?

When thinking about next year, don’t just make the easy usual goals of, eat healthy, workout and be active. Look at your daily routine now and slowly make small minor adjustments, daily, weekly or monthly. This will be easier to keep a forward motion and to turn them into habits. Schedule 2 days a month where you check in with yourself, see how your doing.

I can’t say enough about how meditation has helped me get to where I am now. Even on days where my brain doesn’t seem to want to shut off, while I’m sitting there, I’m forcing myself to focus on me and only me. How has my energy been, my emotions, how has my back been feeling, or my vertigo?

Look at the end of 2019, as it is only the warm up to your 2020.

You can conquer anything you put your mind to. Stay focused, take ownership, be humble and don’t forget to push yourself. And make today count.

When you begin to do the work and take ownership over your life, you start to realize the power of time management, control and autonomy. You live life on your terms this way. It truly is the only way.

Christopher D. Connors

I’ve never been much of a dater, started from when I was in highschool. From day one of dating boys I bounced around, but always was wanting to be that “high school sweetheart couple”. I continually wanted to be loved by the opposite sex but wasn’t looked at as the relationship girl. I eventually convinced myself and played along with everyone else that, that was what I was wanting. But come end of the day, or morning after (sorry mom and dad) when I got home, I hurt. I put my heart out there many times, and hoped that one of those guys would understand me and my ways. But I’ve always been that drinkin’ buddy or casual thing.

From my past many small relationships of being cheated on, ghosted, to an unexpected pregnancy where he houdini’d and ran away, leaving me to deal with it on my own at 20. Going to a hospital to get an abortion alone is a very hard experience. You are to jump from room to room to do tests, with other girls who are doing the same. When you are the only one by yourself and everyone else has their significant other, you can see how hard this would be. When the doctor asks you about the father, and you lie to not have to deal with anything, that hurts even more. In the end, all of these experiences aren’t uncommon for many woman.

Naturally as women we strive to start families, we search for that someone to be beside us, take care of us and support us. But after years of failing and years of being hurt from putting your heart out there, to years of pretending you want that casual thing, it affects all future relationships you have.

The first love of my life, broke my heart. I saw texts from a girl he knew for a while right near the end of our relationship, that they were seeing each other around me. It crushed me, it convinced me that I wasn’t good enough or deserved to be loved. Why would I put my heart out there, only to get hurt every time. They’re now married with kids.

The second guy I loved was different, we used each other for comfort, cheap rent and friendships. Over time, clearly we were both in different places. I believe this is where I realized I self sabbatoge my relationships.

After that one, I took years to even start to date. I really believed I didn’t deserve to be loved or in a relationship. My confidence, my self respect and my want to be respected, depleted.

Then my biggest love of all and most recent relationship. Just when I felt I had given up, it happened out of the blue. He showed me respect and that I did deserve to be loved, but I couldn’t fully dive in. I was scared, I knew I’d sabotage, not show my true self, hide and be embarrassed to open up about any past I had. I was ashamed of my relationships, my lack of love and my lack of self respect. He was smart, honest, open and supportive and I had no idea how to deal with that.

When you’ve only been treated like an object, a crutch or a casual fling, its hard to fully let go and enjoy the moments. Then when you do, you still always have those questions in your head. Eventually those questions turned to anxiety, self sabotage and deep down voice that repetitively tell you, you don’t deserve love.

Lets just say, if you could think of a relationships with hurdles, this was the Olympic final. Add a very difficult sickness, an unhappy work environment and my own mental health and you get an end to a relationship.

After the end of this one I basically went to ground zero. I took it out on myself and really believed that love is just not meant for me. But this time, instead of going back to my regular habits, I started to really listen to my heart, body and mind.

I took a step back from looking for love and searched for loving myself. From lots of counseling, to getting more active and to changing my surroundings, I took focus on what I’ve been needing to do this whole time. Love myself. To often do we hope we find someone to help fix our problems, when we need to focus on fixing ourselves first.

You can’t fully give your heart to someone, if your heart isn’t fully there, to give.

I may not be dating anyone know, but I do know that I’ve finally come to terms with my past, understand my habits and love myself. I have taken ownership for my mistakes, I have forgiven those who’ve hurt me and I’ve come to terms with my past.

I realize we all have paths and we learn from each relationships, even if it ripped your heart out. Your hearts a muscle, and if you use it enough, it’ll grow to be shared with that right person, someday.

We all want to be with someone that makes you want to be a better person, but how much pushing is too much.

We’ve all had those relationships where you feel like “if only they didn’t __ ” or “I think I can change ___”. We need to stop feeling like we can “fix” someone and start thinking of how we can support and show them just how powerful they are. Sure, we always learn from our partners and are there to support and encourage. But you shouldn’t want to change someone’s ways, to fit your own. You should want to grow together, work together and develop healthy patterns together.

According to codependency and relationship expert, Ross Rosenberg, this pattern is common and couples often stay in highly dysfunctional relationships to their own detriment. Rosenberg notes, “The inherently dysfunctional “codependency dance” requires two opposite but distinctly balanced partners: the pleaser/fixer (codependent) and the taker/controller (narcissist).”

When you focus on challenging someone, you allow their wounds to fester. Remember you are on the same team. Accept that people do the best they can and try to be more understanding. This doesn’t mean that you accept your partner’s hurtful actions. You simply come to a more realistic view and give them less power over you.

Trying to change you partner can lead to an end in your relationship.

Communication is key, and how you communicate is even more important. Its how to say your worries or upsets, that will change the patterns of making the person feel attacked verses cared for.

I’ve been on both sides of this, but mainly on the side of feeling attacked. Yes, I’ve done some stupid things and yes I have flaws, but so did they. Quite often as a woman we hormonally strive to start families, which cause us to want to make our partner happy, to move towards this goal. Often, we don’t even realize we are doing it, when we do. Many women have been in relationships where they felt forced to adjust and adapt to their partners ways, all to make them happy, only to making themselves more upset.

Focusing on changing your partner doesn’t allow you to be vulnerable. 

While self-sufficiency can help you with life, it can also rob you of true intimacy. For a relationship to be balanced, partners must be able to depend on one another and feel that they are needed and appreciated for the support they give. Trying to change your partner can prevent you from influencing each other and achieving true intimacy. Resentment and anger can build and cause more problems down the road.

Additionally, compromise is an essential tool to preserving love that will last a lifetime. Discussing concerns that arise in a timely and respectful way will help you become better at repair skills. If you embrace the notion that conflict is an inevitable part of an intimate relationship, and that not all problems have to be resolved, you’ll bounce back from disagreements faster and build a successful long-lasting relationship.

Lastly, if you are feeling like you continually are wanting to discuss concerns, or are being talked to by your partner, maybe its time to reconsider the relationship. Sadly, sometimes we have to accept that yes we love this person, but no, our views will never be the same. Respect that we all grow at different speeds and times, and each relationship makes us learn more about who we are and what we need to be happy.


I’m sure everyone who has worked in the restaurant industry has heard a handful of times from their management, to leave their outside life at the door.

Yes, in this industry it is very difficult to have a “bad day” and go be outgoing and happy to every guest they talk to. Unfortunately, customers don’t care about how you feel, or what’s going on in your life, you need to buckle down, put a smile on and act like everything is amazing.

Not only is this expectation coming from your customers, but definitely pushed from your management. If you have an “off day” and make a couple mistakes while your smile isn’t as big as normal, you can be worried that you will get pulled aside from management, telling you to stop fucking up and put a bigger smile on.

Not only is this hard, but the most difficult part is trying to talk to a manager about your mental health and well being. Restaurants are so tight on staff, that flexibility can be an issue. At least this is the current case in Vancouver. With so many new restaurants opening up, they are finding it hard to find and keep good employees and most staff are pushed to work overtime or more than 5 shifts a week, to make up for it. With money being the true addiction, employees find it hard to say no, but in turn this affects their mental and physical health.

Quite often, if an employee goes to a management and explains they are not doing well with their mental health and need to take time off. Management will think that they are undependable, which can hugely affect their upcoming schedule and section, which will in turn affect their wage and tips. You can see how this can snowball and how the pressure to be always on point can make someone worried to ask for help or time away.

It is time for restaurants to take responsibility and acknowledge the mental health issues and over worked employees.

Treating your staff with proper respect and scheduling what is legally acceptable, will create that work life balance and allow your employees to not burn out and work harder while they are there.

For everyone else, please understand that your server is human and can have a bad day from time to time. Unlike a lot of other industries, they are not able to work a “half day” or go home. You never know what they’re going through, and although yes, their job is to make you have a great evening and enjoy your dinner, from time to time it may be a little harder than normal for them to make that smile extra big. You’d be amazed how many times I went to work having a bad day and then had that one table that was so friendly, nice and understanding, that made me remember why I did love serving people.

Let’s all remember that we are all human and all just want to be accepted, understood and appreciated.

Since I’ve made the big life adjustments, my days have been pretty up and down. Most days I’m feeling awesome and excited that I’m on a brand new path of dedication to myself. But I’ve definitely suffered from the massive pay cut and loss of friends from my old industry. But I’ve dedicated my time and money to do what is best for me, to help me stay healthy, positive and grow.

I think a lot of time we get too comfortable with what we have work wise, health wise and personal growth wise. Our bodies naturally want to be as lazy as possible. From our gut adapting how to process what we eat, to our emotional shifts during our daily stresses. We find the simple ways to keep moving forward. Yes its forward, but we shouldn’t we be going forward and up.

For example, say during the day someone cuts in front of you at the Starbucks line. Instantly, your body tightens and you hold your breathe, while you feel that irritation and anxiety build. Take a moment, realize what your body is doing and think to yourself, why? Why do I instantly react this way? Take a breathe, realize its not the end of the world and if you really must, say something politely.

Those little moments of recognition, over time, will allow you to lower those stress levels and re-train your body to not react in such emotional and drastic ways.

You can teach yourself this whenever you feel a sudden change of emotions, positive or negative. These simple quick stops of questioning why and how, will really help you learn more about your triggers and what you can do to calm them down. You’ll be surprised as how much you learn about yourself and how much this small little adjustments help with your overall health.

Now lets talk about the ways to help you, money wise.

Sure going out for a nice dinner, night out for drinks or socializing with the crew will help you feel great during those experiences, but you need to also focus on growth for the long run. Much like going to the doctor or dentist for a check up, we need to make sure everything upstairs is working fine and smoothly, as well.

Maybe hold back one night of dining out and use that money on a naturopathic appointment. You’d be amazing how much, what you put in to you, affects not only your physical appearance, but your mind and energy. Maybe go for an RMT massage, to help alleviate that stress that seems to build up between your shoulder blades, whenever you have work deadlines coming up. Maybe go to talk to a Counsellor, even if you feel you have nothing bothering you. Talking to someone outside of your circle really helps you understand your situations, and even helps you appreciate just how strong you are.

I recently had my Osteopath (who is a whole other article, I HIGHLY recommend seeing one) tell me I was “An amazing woman”, and just that reassurance from someone outside of my regular life, really made me appreciate myself and all the hard work I have put into making my life happier and better.

I’ve never once been upset that I spent my money on bettering my health, but I definitely can say I have after splurging on a fancy dinner.

Take a minute and priorities what you need to do to fully be the best version of yourself you can be. You have the ability to reach out and use these amazing services, so take advantage and learn as much as you can about yourself. You two hang out the most, might as well get comfortable.

Some Vancouver places I recommend you check out:

QI Integrated Health – Osteopathy with Jai Edgar

Finlandia – Naturopath with David Duizer

Alliance Wellness – RMT massage with Adam Lockhart

We are about to get deep, so get ready to get serious, intense and raw.

I know we’ve all had something happen to us where we haven’t fully explained the whole story. We feel ashamed, scared and to be honest, don’t really want to remember. Maybe not everyone has had something happen that has been extremely intense or has fully affected their life afterwards, but I do know a good majority of us have had moments that we come to think about from time to time and wish they were only a dream.

With the #MeToo movement and people finally starting to feel okay to be open about being hurt, broken and not perfect, we are starting to see that this is a lot more common than we thought. I’ve continually held my feelings and memories in, only to ruin my relationships and hurt the people around me. They feel I am not letting them in or showing my true self, but those moments, those feelings… Those weren’t me, and never will be me.

Yes relationships are built on honesty and trust, but we sorry we do not wish to fully open up on some things that happened to us in the past. We hope that you can accept this from us and understand that we are not trying to hide anything from you, we are merely trying to not to pick at these old scars.

Please understand that we all deal with trauma in our own ways and we all have different levels of suffering, emotional scarring and ways of coping and you’ll never truly know our trauma.

We have a hard time deciding when we are ready to talk to you about our past and when we do, please don’t look at us like we are someone you don’t know or someone that has lied. The fact that we have been able to even talk about this amazing for us and very difficult to do. So please, take a moment, give us a hug and don’t rush us to explain everything just yet.

Our stories may be scary, they may be sad and they may even make you angry. Unfortunately with traumatic situations many of us feel very ashamed. Ashamed that we could have somehow prevented it. Ashamed that it has changed who we are. Ashamed that we have been affected so badly. And ashamed that we aren’t able to be fully open with you.

A good majority of our friends and family all don’t know our traumas, and to be fully honest, most don’t wish to ever tell them. We know things have a way with making people look at us differently, we have experienced or seen it first hand. We don’t want pity and we don’t want anyone upset or sad. We just want you to understand that we may need an ear if we decided to open up and if we tell you we experienced something traumatic, please just accept what information we decide to share.

Thank you for understanding us and thank you for listening.