— You Will Never Truly Know My Trauma —

We are about to get deep, so get ready to get serious, intense and raw.

I know we’ve all had something happen to us where we haven’t fully explained the whole story. We feel ashamed, scared and to be honest, don’t really want to remember. Maybe not everyone has had something happen that has been extremely intense or has fully affected their life afterwards, but I do know a good majority of us have had moments that we come to think about from time to time and wish they were only a dream.

With the #MeToo movement and people finally starting to feel okay to be open about being hurt, broken and not perfect, we are starting to see that this is a lot more common than we thought. I’ve continually held my feelings and memories in, only to ruin my relationships and hurt the people around me. They feel I am not letting them in or showing my true self, but those moments, those feelings… Those weren’t me, and never will be me.

Yes relationships are built on honesty and trust, but we sorry we do not wish to fully open up on some things that happened to us in the past. We hope that you can accept this from us and understand that we are not trying to hide anything from you, we are merely trying to not to pick at these old scars.

Please understand that we all deal with trauma in our own ways and we all have different levels of suffering, emotional scarring and ways of coping and you’ll never truly know our trauma.

We have a hard time deciding when we are ready to talk to you about our past and when we do, please don’t look at us like we are someone you don’t know or someone that has lied. The fact that we have been able to even talk about this amazing for us and very difficult to do. So please, take a moment, give us a hug and don’t rush us to explain everything just yet.

Our stories may be scary, they may be sad and they may even make you angry. Unfortunately with traumatic situations many of us feel very ashamed. Ashamed that we could have somehow prevented it. Ashamed that it has changed who we are. Ashamed that we have been affected so badly. And ashamed that we aren’t able to be fully open with you.

A good majority of our friends and family all don’t know our traumas, and to be fully honest, most don’t wish to ever tell them. We know things have a way with making people look at us differently, we have experienced or seen it first hand. We don’t want pity and we don’t want anyone upset or sad. We just want you to understand that we may need an ear if we decided to open up and if we tell you we experienced something traumatic, please just accept what information we decide to share.

Thank you for understanding us and thank you for listening.

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