One of the biggest let downs online dating has shown me, is that everyone wants to feel “go with the flow” and no one likes to make a plan or ask for someone’s time anymore. Its very common for someone to message you at 9pm asking if you want to hang out. Stop answering, stop saying yes. Your time deserves to be planned for and you are worth more than that.
Does anyone know what they want anymore?
Seems like most people are overwhelmed with the amount of dating options online and that “could be better person” is just on the next swipe over. This ends up creating an unfortunate lack of drive to actually learn about the person you are talking to and put effort into seeing where it could go. If you are unsure what exactly you want, respect others and take some time and step back from dating. Lack of communicating how to you feel or what you want is only going to cause turmoil.
Sadly, many woman and even men will lie about what they are looking for, only to seek what they want and not take into consideration the other person feelings. Don’t lie to the other person and don’t lie to yourself. If you aren’t looking for a casual relationship, don’t say you are, in hopes to “change” their mind. This will only set up your expectations for failure and start whatever relationship it is that you have, off unbalanced.
Now moving on to our busy society. Yes we all seem to work more than we play and our hobbies take up a lot of our time, but we need to take a moment and respect those people who are willing to work to start relationships. The unfortunate new fad of “ghosting” has made many daters nervous to even start something and nervous to reach out to see what is going on.
Commitment is scary
With these flip flop feelings and lack of drive, its hard to find anyone who actually is striving for an adult meaningful relationship anymore. Society has now focused on building your career first and family second, so that grey area of where to shift is hard to find. As our careers are always changing and always growing, at what point do you decide to find someone to share those memories with.
Social media ruins it all
Superficial judgments is the key to ruining so many, what could have been, great relationships. We “internet creep or stalk” each other and come up with our own view of who that person is, without actually asking or learning their true stories.
I find this extremely frustrating, that this is a thing. If someone decides to post every day, or post once a month, it doesn’t change how good of a person they are or the outcome of how your relationship could be. So stop creeping someone’s page and using that as a deciding factor on how you view the person. If they decide they don’t want to post on their page, they aren’t always hiding something, so give them a break. Take the time and get to know them first yourself, before you come to any conclusions. When you become the online topic or your personal life is affected, then really this is the only time you have a say in what they can or cannot post.
Neflix and Chill
Since when is it okay to show up at a complete strangers house, all to wear comfie’s and watch a movie (and ya I know what else). This is not a date, this is what you do with someone you’re in a relationship with or someone you should be completely comfortable with. Starting a relationship off this way is only just going to kill the romance from the get go. The first few “hang outs” really set the standard on what your relationship is going to be, and if you want thoughtfulness and treasured memories, then this is not the route for you.
Time to respect each other
Its time that we speak out on what we expect and want out of our relationships from the beginning and stop half-assing and half committing to everything. If you are interested in someone show them respect and let them know. We need to communicate again and stop just assuming what the other person is thinking.